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Bob’s Blog
- Peggy’s latest book
- My Writer Wife’s New Novel
- Relaxed, Comfortable Breathing
- FYI about executive function declines for some women during menopause
- Deep Grief: My Reply to Another Therapist’s Query
- The Science of Wellbeing
- Apology – Sincere and Complete
- Concerned With Death?
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Areas of Interest
Cobalt Blue by Peggy Payne
Category Archives: Marriage & Relationships
New Years Resolutions – Family Style
I’m re-posting this 5 minute-read on New Years Resolutions from the Gottman relationship blog. To get it free weekly, you can sign up at the end of the post or go to their site  Gottman.com and click the blog. “It’s … Continue reading
Separate Realities, Uncommon Knowledge
This complex post is for those of us who think we know it all and often behave as if we do – including psychotherapists and thinkers about psychotherapy. Â It’s especially intended for those who have strong awareness of their own … Continue reading
Personal Letter to a Psychologist
Found in Drafts, from 11-20 12. Â Yr Good — these Electronics are running us more & more — fortunately folks like you understand them well enough, & will keep them from enslaving us. Take a look @ my ad … Continue reading
Posted in Marriage & Relationships, Personal
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Electronic Devices and Emotional Intimicy
a short comment I made to someone’s lament about having lost the concentration and focus necessary to read books. Use of electronic media works a lot like the slot machines in Las Vegas — random, infrequent small payoffs/rare medium payoffs/very rare large … Continue reading
Full Day Workshop “Hypnotically Enhanced Intimacy” Friday Oct 24
This is the last of my 3 yearly full-day hypnosis workshops in 2014. Â I’ve broadened the theme to include closeness in any intimate relationship: Â with yourself, your partner, current and original family, and close friends. Â Both individuals and couples will … Continue reading
How Much Therapist Self-Disclosure is Too Much?
My response to my friend Joe Burgo’s website post about therapist self-disclosure on http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/input/Â : “Unprofessional” seems to me a label many folks use when confusing their personal values and preferences with the a profession’s written code of ethics. There’s … Continue reading
Crucial Couples’ Skills
John Gottman PhD, eminent marital researcher and therapist suggests in his bestselling book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work:  SKILLS FOR RELATIONSHIPS (OR, HOW TO STAY ON THE TEAM)  Conflict. It’s a part of every intimate relationship. Sometimes it … Continue reading
Response to a Marital Therapy Referral Request
Whoever they see, seems to me about 4 sessions of “Discernment Counciling” to clarify/commit high motivation from both partners first [then either: full bore Marital therapy for 6 months, or referral to good collaborative divorce attorneys] would be prudent and useful. … Continue reading
Posted in Marriage & Relationships
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PAIRS workshop in Chapel Hill – relationship skills
Hi S,  You sure have an attractive & active website — you do very well with electronic media!  The PAIRS course  offers quite significant value, & I’m passing this on to my folks.  I’ll mention too, that my All Day … Continue reading
Loneliness
my post responding to a list serve request for suggestions about loneliness. Lonely is sure not the same thing as “alone’ — It seems to me both 1] a history of regular, strong and long enough early family emotional intimacy, … Continue reading