Survivors of Suicide

This is part of an email I sent to a Group member.

Thanks for keeping us up on what’s important for you, otherwise we can’t really know someone deeply. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this – losing an old friend for any reason is very painful. In my experience, people who suicide knew no other way out of unbearable pain, physical and/or emotional. Their Adult-Thinker is overwhelmed and doesn’t function properly, and stopping the pain by ending life seems the only way out. Unfortunately, this option also stops all other possibilities for pleasure and/or constructive problem solving.
They don’t know and/or aren’t able to consider fully the consequences for others who love them. Deep depression changes brain chemistry and prevents creativity, flexibility and correct digital thinking. And most people aren’t aware of the powerfully useful psychiatric medicines and effective psychotherapy which can bring enough time, new information and perspectives, new options and choices into the process,  usually leading toward choosing to live.
Children are especially wounded by suicide of a parent, because without a fully developed/grown-up and experienced internal Thinker, they often accept the idea, even if only unconsciously, that “I/we weren’t important enough to you to live for”.  For a child, this can mean “I’m no good/bad/not worth loving, protecting and/or living”.  This wound can be healed, although it takes a lot of good therapy.
  Dr bob
Please share your experience/response to this Post. I'd sure like to know, and it could be useful to someone else. You can click the Post's title to view the entire post, and Comment below, if you like. The "Name Field" will accept any name, so you can be Anonymous [Anon] if you prefer. You must enter your Email to post a comment, but your Email address will not appear publicly. Thanks, Dr Bob
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2 Responses to Survivors of Suicide

  1. Peggy Payne says:

    Seems to me these thoughts would be helpful to anyone dealing with a suicide — even decades after the fact.

  2. Dr. Bob says:

    Thanks for asking P, I do hope so, for I write these posts the same way I offer suggestions to a Group member – wanting to touch and invite use of the suggestion by all the other members. I like to think of individual and Group therapy as a cafeteria, so folks can pick and choose whatever catches their notice at the time, both consciously and unconsciously.
    My hope and intention is to “seed” healing perspectives and choices to Group members not only about their current issues, but also about their past and future lives, and even rippling out in concentric circles to their family and friends. Dr Bob

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