This is part of an email I sent to a Group member.
Thanks for keeping us up on what’s important for you, otherwise we can’t really know someone deeply. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this – losing an old friend for any reason is very painful. In my experience, people who suicide knew no other way out of unbearable pain, physical and/or emotional. Their Adult-Thinker is overwhelmed and doesn’t function properly, and stopping the pain by ending life seems the only way out. Unfortunately, this option also stops all other possibilities for pleasure and/or constructive problem solving.
They don’t know and/or aren’t able to consider fully the consequences for others who love them. Deep depression changes brain chemistry and prevents creativity, flexibility and correct digital thinking. And most people aren’t aware of the powerfully useful psychiatric medicines and effective psychotherapy which can bring enough time, new information and perspectives, new options and choices into the process, Â usually leading toward choosing to live.
Children are especially wounded by suicide of a parent, because without a fully developed/grown-up and experienced internal Thinker, they often accept the idea, even if only unconsciously, that “I/we weren’t important enough to you to live for”. Â For a child, this can mean “I’m no good/bad/not worth loving, protecting and/or living”. Â This wound can be healed, although it takes a lot of good therapy.
Â Dr bob