This post Â explains why I ask Group Therapy members to Copy the whole group and me all Email to me or any other member. Â This agreement represents practicing openness, one of the three essential skills of deep emotional intimacy.
Â Â The written guidelines I went over with each group member in preparation for Group Therapy are the background agreement for sharing with the whole group all emotional things related to other members &/or me – the intent is to discover what happens when we develop relationships with other people in group, because that will reflect how we set up & experience relationships in the rest of our everyday world. Â Copying all in your Group allows everyone in the Group full access to all written communication within the group, making possible discovering a member’s patterns of relating to others which need exploration, rather than losing these vital opportunities for therapeutic reflection.
Â Preferring “privacy” about Email with other group members is usually based on early family experiences which led a client to hide themselves and their feelings because they felt unsafe in their original family. Â Only through great courage can personal growth move beyond needing the old walls, toward deep intimacy. Â Experientially learning Â that the old walls are no longer necessary requires daring to show one’s true self, when the naturalÂ openness of a child proved emotionally dangerous in the original family. Â In group therapy we can learn by practicing the intimacy skill of Openness, by showing a few other people all about me. Â Staying hidden and “safe” is terribly lonely, because our old walls keep Â others distantly away from us.
Â We’re unlikely to discover how those formerly necessary walls Â now function to prevent emotional closeness, without experimenting to discover how different the present actually is from our past family pains.