Enhancing Emotional Support and Intimacy

I often suggest to couples an experiment/exercise that usually enhances emotional intimacy: the couple sets the alarm for 10 minutes before either must get up in the morning, and by mutual agreement move together into an acceptable posture of holding each other for about 10 minutes — not to wake up or think, not to talk, not for sex, simply experiential physical contact/comfort. It may take a few weeks to find and get used to a workable comfortable position, and it’s well worth the trouble. 

If a couple sleeps separately, one/both can return to a mutual bed on the way to getting up. It’s best to set another alarm so people do get up when they need to.

The risk is that this experience becomes so pleasant and positive that folks really miss it when one person must be away a while. The benefits of automatically giving and getting daily deeply supportive physical and emotional connection can be pretty amazing, both obvious and subtle. 

Perhaps fears/unskilled avoidance of physical/emotional intimacy are bypassed while still half-asleep? But why it’s so strongly bonding doesn’t really matter, the important thing is it really works. dr bob

Please share your experience/response to this Post. I'd sure like to know, and it could be useful to someone else. You can click the Post's title to view the entire post, and Comment below, if you like. The "Name Field" will accept any name, so you can be Anonymous [Anon] if you prefer. You must enter your Email to post a comment, but your Email address will not appear publicly. Thanks, Dr Bob
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6 Responses to Enhancing Emotional Support and Intimacy

  1. To my untrained eye, that “risk is that this experience becomes so pleasant and positive that folks really miss it when one person must be away a while” is entirely worth taking!

    I’ll repost this on my Facebook for friends to see.

  2. Dr. Bob says:

    Thanks Phil, Trust you’re well and content, and glad you’re sharing.

  3. Sarah says:

    One of Phil’s FB friends, here! My partner and I sleep separately but usually lie down together for a few minutes before we separate. This works well for us since we get up at different times, and it helps calm down and go to sleep feeling good.

    • Dr. Bob says:

      I thought I’d replied Sarah, Glad you’ve invented & used this powerfull soothing & self-soothing, bonding behavioral exercise. Individual variations call for creativity & flexibility. Well done, dr bob

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