Enhancing Emotional Support and Intimacy

I often suggest to couples an experiment/exercise that usually enhances emotional intimacy: the couple sets the alarm for 10 minutes before either must get up in the morning, and by mutual agreement move together into an acceptable posture of holding each other for about 10 minutes — not to wake up or think, not to talk, not for sex, simply experiential physical contact/comfort. It may take a few weeks to find and get used to a workable comfortable position, and it’s well worth the trouble. 

If a couple sleeps separately, one/both can return to a mutual bed on the way to getting up. It’s best to set another alarm so people do get up when they need to.

The risk is that this experience becomes so pleasant and positive that folks really miss it when one person must be away a while. The benefits of automatically giving and getting daily deeply supportive physical and emotional connection can be pretty amazing, both obvious and subtle. 

Perhaps fears/unskilled avoidance of physical/emotional intimacy are bypassed while still half-asleep? But why it’s so strongly bonding doesn’t really matter, the important thing is it really works. dr bob

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